


Curbside

by 8ball



Category: One Piece
Genre: Everyone is broke, M/M, Modern AU, Nami is tired, because he deserves it, bisexual sanji, luffy should not be eating gas station meat, merry is Usopp's shitty car, no car should be more tape than metal usopp, roadtrip au, roatrip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:59:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28078824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8ball/pseuds/8ball
Summary: “Speaking of getting pulled over, and this is all hypothetical of course, but uh, maybe don't get pulled over? Because, the car might not be insured.” Usopp remarked, drifting off into a whisper.Sanji took a deep, calming breath.“What do you mean, not insured.” He ground out.“Well,” Usopp had very carefully pressed himself as far back into the seat as he could, his head nearly brushing Zoro’s disgusting shoes. “It turns out you can't insure a car if it's not, technically, registered.”Sanji didn't answer. He was worried that if he reacted his body would actually catch up with his brain and he’d crash the car trying to murder the guy. Beside him, Nami had very slowly turned around in her seat.“Usopp.” She spoke in a very sweet voice that made the hairs on the back of Sanji’s neck stand up. “If the car isn't registered, where did you get the license plate?”The car went silent, beside the occasional snore from the back. Luffy looked around, clearly confused by the sudden tension.“So, funny story, it turns out junk yards have a lot of old license plates?” Usopp said, very quietly.
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 23
Kudos: 277





	Curbside

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inkedling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkedling/gifts).



> Roadtrip au for the wonderful кαι (@hobiversal)! Thank you again for the fun commission, and double thanks for your patience as I took five years to write this! <3

  
  
  


-o-

Sanji glanced up and down the empty road, sighing for the fifth time as leaned back on his dead-to-the-world car. How many times had Zeff warmed him that his shitty little subaru was going to die on him one way or another? And it just figured that it’d die on him on his way to some presentation party set at some middle-of-nowhere farm. Well, fuck it, he thought. He’d always known the car was a piece of crap, but dammit it had been  _ his _ piece of crap. 

He patted the hood of the scratched vehicle, giving it a final once-over before he pushed himself off, moving to the very edge of the road. 

Sanji had never hitch-hiked before, but he was pretty sure the whole sticking-a-thumb-out thing was what one did when looking to bum a ride, so he threw his arm out and made the gesture.

He felt fucking ridiculous. 

Sighing again, he lowered his arm. No point in looking like an idiot if no one was driving by anyways. He could, technically, call a cab to come get him but he a) didn't know where the fuck he was and b) didn't have more than a crumbled 5 in his back pocket. Zeff was out of the question, because the one time the old bastard had attempted to drive with his prosthetic leg he’d nearly killed himself and only just barely avoided arrest. Also, the head chef would verbally throttle Sanji for the catering delivery he now couldn't make. 

At least that meant he had something to eat if he was stuck out here for hours. 

His head snapped up at the sound of a car in the distance, and he squinted. Sure enough, what looked like a beat-up van was heading his way. Cursing, Sanji looked down at himself, at his car, then at the road. Did he- was he supposed to smile? He did, sticking his arm back out and immediately feeling stupid.

An awkward minute or so passed where Sanji just stood there with a fake smile plastered on his face and the van puttered up the road towards him. Eventually, and with agonizing speed, the thing rolled to a stop a little bit away. The cook blinked, unsure what to do with himself really. 

The passenger side window began to haltingly roll down, then stopped, and a series of muffled curses bounced over to Sanji’s side of the road. He jumped at the sound of the driver’s door being kicked open, and was entirely unprepared for the most gorgeous woman he’d ever seen to come around the vehicle. 

“Need a ride?” She asked, and dear god, yes, Sanji thought, anywhere with her. If he was about to be murdered and cut up into tiny bits for her to later toss over a bridge, he honestly didn't care. 

“Uh, yeah. Yes. If that's ok?” Shit, he was already making a fool of himself, wasn't he. He still wasn't sure what to do, so he remained where he was, awkwardly glancing at his car. 

“Luggage?” The beautiful red-head asked, one delicate eyebrow raising in question. 

“Um.” Sanji glanced at the car again, suddenly remembering the large containers of mixed fried greens and polenta. “Just some food I was on my way-

“FOOD!?” Someone, Sanji didn't know  _ who _ , screamed from within the van. A second later a rumbled looking kid nearly broke the door down, tossing himself bodily out of the vehicle as he made a terrifyingly focused dash at the blonde. 

The red-head, with wildly unexpected strength, grabbed the guy by the back of the shirt and tossed him like a sack of potatoes to her side. 

“WHAT DID WE JUST TALK ABOUT, LUFFY?” She yelled, hands on her hips. 

The kid, Luffy apparently, looked partially cowed as he avoided her gaze.

“But Namiiiii.” He whined, making a move like he was about to  _ crawl _ in Sanji’s direction. 

“You can't just eat someone else's food, idiot!” 

Sanji, from his spot across the road, watched the two with mild fear. He casually glanced up and down the road again, wondering if he should take his chances waiting for another car. Nami though, despite her somewhat disturbing strength and volume level, was still the loveliest thing the cook had seen all day. 

“But I’m  _ hungryyyy.”  _ Luffy continued to whine, and Sanji piped up. 

“Actually, if you want to think of it as payment for the ride, you can have the food.” He called. 

Both Luffy and Nami turned to look at him.

“Really?” The red-head asked sceptically. 

“I mean, it's not like I can deliver it now anyways.” Sanji said with a shrug, genturing a little to his car. 

“If you say so.” Nami said, and Luffy shot out of her grip like a bullet. 

Sanji watched as the kid hit the side of his car with an audibly  _ smack _ , the force actually making the whole vehicle lurch a little. He wretched the door open and dived head-first into the back seat, and promptly began devouring the polenta face first. Sanji had seen wild animals eat with less gusto. 

“Well that saves us a food stop, so this really works out.” Nami said, tossing a grin the blonde’s way. Sanji caught the grin, tucked it away, and decided he wanted it on his gravestone. 

“A-anytime!” Sanji stuttered, tripping over his own feet as he crossed the street, leaving Luffy to his consuming. 

The van really wasn't much better up close. It was an artfully constructed mess of tape and metal scraps, with unmatching hubcaps and a paint job that looked like someone had given up halfway through. There was a jagged dent right above one of the rear tires that Sanji decided he wasn't going to ask about. Since he had seen Luffy fumble his way out of the back seat, the cook made his way to the front passenger door. 

“Oh, actually, do you mind driving? I’ve been at it for a couple hours and I’m beat.” Nami asked, yawning adorably. 

“Of course! Rest as long as you need to!” Sanji gushed, opening the door for her and ushering her in to take a seat. 

“Thanks. I’m Nami, by the way.”

“Sanji.” He said, giving her a smile. “And thanks again for stopping.”

She smiled back at him, and he went stumbling to the drivers side, fighting down a blush. Luffy was making his way over, one arm hugging the unopened container of fried veggies and the other tipping the polenta container up to his face as he continued scarfing it down. As the blonde buckled himself in, he glanced in the back seat to wait for Luffy to get in, and started. 

A wide-eyed guy with a downright impressive nose was staring at him.

“Oh, right, that's Usopp. This is his car.” Nami said, following Sanji’s gaze. 

Sanji and Usopp stared at each other for a good minute as Luffy climbed in, making himself comfortable. The cook cleared his throat, glancing at Nami and then back to Usopp. 

“Uh, nice car.” Sanji said, trying not to sound like an asshole. The car was very obviously a piece of shit, but still cared for judging by the considerable repair jobs. 

This seemed to be the right thing to have said, as Usopp beamed at him, switching gears immediately. 

“She is, isn't she? Her name’s Merry and I’ve been working on her for  _ years _ ! Got her up and running when I was just 15.” The guy boasted, puffing up his chest in pride. 

“Oh?” That got Sanji’s attention. “You know about cars?” 

Usopp puffed up impossibly more, pointing at his own chest dramatically. 

“Do I know about cars? Why, I’m an  _ expert _ at cars! In fact, when I was just 12-

“Yeah, that's great. So could you take a look at mine?” Sanji asked, pointing over at the dead subaru. 

Usopp’s smile dropped as he wiped his head around, glancing at Sanji’s car like he’d only just noticed it. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, making a tiny sound that sounded suspiciously like a curse. 

“A-ah, unfortunately, good sir, I don't have any of my very important tools with me, and as everyone knows, you can't fix a car without tools! No-can-do, right, Luffy?”

Usopp nudged Luffy, receiving something like a grunt in response as the other boy continued eating, now onto the fried greens. Sanji rolled his eyes, returning to the wheel and going about starting the car. He paused however once the engine was running, turning to Nami. 

“So should I just drive us in the direction I need to go, or is there somewhere specific you guys are heading?” He asked, feeling once again like an idiot. He probably should have asked where they were heading at the start. 

“Nah, we’re not really going anywhere in particular, so you can just go your ways.” Nami said, waving him off and pulling out an enormous geographical map with scribbled in notes taking up a good portion of the surface. 

Well, that was convenient. Sanji glanced back at Usopp and Luffy to confirm, but Luffy was still eating like a feral dog and Usopp was watching him with a mix of amazement and revulsion. Turning back to the wheel, the cook took a final look at his sad, little car before turning the ignition.

-o-

  
  


About 10 minutes into the drive, Sanji realized that breaks were less than decent, and no the windows did  _ not _ roll all the way down. Also, the radio was toast, which didn't stop Luffy from invading Sanji’s personal space to tinker with the dials. 20 minutes in and they were forced to find a gas station for Usopp to use the bathroom, and then another gas station because the first one was too gross. 

By the time they merged onto the freeway, everyone was comfortably engaged in their own activities, and the cook let his mind melt into a numbing trance as they sped on. 

He glanced back in the rearview mirror, taking note of a slight movement. At first he thought it was Usopp, his feet propped up or some shit, but then the lump that Sanji had previously thought was luggage and a blanket  _ got up _ . 

He turned his indicator on and changed lanes. 

Nami noticed immediately, glancing in confusion at the road and then the cook. 

“Is something wrong, Sanji-kun?” She asked, moving a little closer to check the reading on the gas.

“I don't mean to alarm you,” Sanji spoke quietly, keeping his gaze focused on the road. “But it appears someone has snuck into the back.” 

“ _ WHAT!? _ ” Nami screamed, making the blonde wince and Usopp and Luffy jump. 

In the back, the fugitive guy yawned, stretched, and froze as his eyes met Sanji’s in the mirror. That was when the cook noticed what the guy was  _ carrying _ . 

“Oh my  _ god _ ,” Sanji slammed the breaks just as the car reached the emergency pullover. “Oh my god what the  _ fuck _ theres a man with fucking  _ swords _ in the back.” 

He kicked his door open the same time Usopp started screaming, looking around wildly. Sanji rushed over to the passenger side, yanking it open. 

“Wha- wait, no, Sanji-

As politely as he could, the blonde yanked her out of the car and away from the potential danger. He considered the mess of the back seat, the way Usopp was flailing around and Luffy was joining him, while the stranger in the back seemed mostly stationary. Shit, why weren't they getting out?

“Usopp, stop  _ screaming _ and grab Luffy and  _ get out of the damn car _ .” Sanji bellowed, wrenching open the door.

Luffy fell out, one of his sandaled feet nearly decking Sanji in the eye. 

“Sanji-kun, wait!” Nami called, moving like she was going to get closer to the car, and oh god, no, there was a sword-wielding  _ psycho  _ in there. 

Taking matters into his own hands, Sanji grabbed Usopp by the back of the shirt and bodily hauled him out. Then he pointed a finger at the sword psycho. 

“You! Whoever the fuck you are, you got ten seconds to beat it before I kick your ass-

Luffy and Usopp popped up from under Sanji’s arms, pointing equally accusingly at the man.

“Zoro! How could you let some axe murderer in the car!?” Usopp yelled, at the same time as Luffy cried “Did we pick up another swordsman?”

Behind them, Nami pressed a palm to her face, breathing in through her teeth. The green-haired man, who Sanji was beginning to realize was possibly  _ not _ some random vagrant, blinked, scowled, and promptly flopped back into his previous state of slumber. All the while holding three genuine katanas. 

“So.” Nami said, coming up behind and placing a hand on Sanji’s shoulder. “We forgot to introduce you to Zoro.”

-o-

  
  


Roronoa Zoro was a perfectly contained mess of unwashed...everything. 

Sanji eyed him for the fifth time in the mirror, noting the taped together shoes rubbing mud on the side window. His face was pressed uncomfortably against the opposite side, mouth open with what appeared to be a line of drool going down his chin, and Sanji shuddered in disgust. The zip-up sweatshirt, which Sanji had mistaken as camo-patterned was actually just  _ intensely _ stained, and was also the only thing the man was wearing to cover his torso. The cook wasn't above admitting that what  _ was _ peaking through the jacket was kind of impressive, and honestly the whole no-shirt-under-a-jacket look had potential if it wasn't, y’know, covered in possible food products. Oh god, he at least hoped they were food products. 

Zoro let out a hulking snore, loud enough to interrupt the card game going on between Usopp and Luffy, and Sanji rolled his eyes back to the road. 

“This is probably a stupid question, but does he have like, a license or something for the swords?” Sanji asked, resisting the urge to honk as the car in front of him changed lanes  _ without using their fucking turn signal _ . 

“Why would someone need a license for a sword?” Luffy asked, brow scrunched up in confusion. Across from him, Usopp dragged a hand down his face. 

“Right.” Sanji muttered. “Silly me.” 

“Don't worry about it. If we get pulled over we can just throw the blanket over him again.” Nami said, not taking her eyes off the map she was scribbling something in. Sanji was genuinely impressed by her ability to use a protractor without any kind of table. 

“Speaking of getting pulled over, and this is all hypothetical of course, but uh, maybe don't get pulled over? Because, the car might not be insured.” Usopp remarked, drifting off into a whisper.

Sanji took a deep, calming breath.

“What do you mean,  _ not insured _ .” He ground out. 

“Well,” Usopp had very carefully pressed himself as far back into the seat as he could, his head nearly brushing Zoro’s disgusting shoes. “It turns out you can't insure a car if it's not, technically, registered.”

Sanji didn't answer. He was worried that if he reacted his body would actually catch up with his brain and he’d crash the car trying to murder the guy. Beside him, Nami had very slowly turned around in her seat. 

“Usopp.” She spoke in a very sweet voice that made the hairs on the back of Sanji’s neck stand up. “If the car isn't registered, where did you get the license plate?” 

The car went silent, beside the occasional snore from the back. Luffy looked around, clearly confused by the sudden tension. 

“So, funny story, it turns out junk yards have a lot of old license plates?” Usopp said, very quietly.

Nami slowly turned back around and stared at the road. She opened her mouth, closed it, and then shook her head. 

“If we get pulled over I’m claiming a hostage situation.” The read-head muttered. 

“You can say the mosshead threatened you with the swords.” Sanji added. 

“Oh yeah, that could work.” She nodded. 

The car went quiet again, Zoro’s snores coming at constant intervals. Nami went back to her map.

“I dunno.” Luffy said, shrugging. “Jail’s kinda fun.” 

  
  


-o-

  
  


About an hour later they stopped for gas and the bathroom, Nami running after Luffy to make sure there wasn't a repeat of something called “the KFC incident”. Usopp went about checking the car for any updated issues while Sanji watched him, lighting up a cigarette. 

“We pick you up in Orange town?”

Sanji jumped, turning to the green-haired man. Zoro only appeared more rumbled than before, hair sticking up at odd spots and flattened out in others. He had a bandana of all things tied around his bicep. 

“Where the fuck is Orange town?” The cook asked, annoyed. Had the guy been in a coma or some shit when they picked up Sanji? 

In response, Zoro just shrugged, as if he genuinely didn't know either. The blonde gave him an unimpressed look. 

“Who needs three swords anyways?” Sanji asked, glancing at the visible hilts through the window. Zoro crossed his arms. 

“What kind of priss wears a suit to deliver food?”

Sanji’s brow ticked, and he jabbed his cigarette at the other man. 

“The food was for a  _ formal event _ , dumbass.” He growled. “And I’m not some fast-food delivery boy, I’m a  _ sous-chef _ .” 

The bastard just smirked.

“That french or something for ‘prissy cook’?” 

Oh it was  _ on _ . Sanji stuck his cigarette in his mouth, taking a heavy pull. 

“Forgive me, the concept of clean dress is probably beyond your tiny, algae covered brain. Or do you just enjoy looking like the contents of a dumpster?” He droned smoothly, blowing out smoke in Zoro’s face. 

The supposed swordsman coughed, waving the smoke away and glaring at Sanji. The cook smirked, leaning back in victory. Zoro narrowed his eyes. 

“I like being able to move freely, something I doubt you can do in that monkey suit, curly.”

Sanji gaped. 

“‘Curly!?’” He spluttered, aware too late that he was giving the other man free ammunition. 

“Yeah.” Zoro smiled with his teeth, sharp canines glinting in a somewhat feral show as he pointed at Sanji’s brow. “ _ Curly _ .” 

“Oh fuck you, mosshead!” The cook yelled back, pleased at the annoyed twitch on Zoro’s face.

Both men leaned forward, their heads butting painfully. Sanji raised a leg, ready to show the guy just how freely he could move in his so-called monkey suit, when Luffy slammed into his back. 

“Sanji!! Can you cook these!?” He cried, shoving something in the blonde’s face. 

It was about 10 packets of frozen hamburgers, all marked at a reduced price. Sanji glanced at the tiny gas station then back at the questionable meat.

“Where-” He bagan, his previous rage forgotten. 

“Don't ask.” Nami warned, passing them to stash something in the back of the car. 

The cook looked from the mystery meat to Luffy’s eager face, his eyes practically  _ sparkling _ . He grimaced. 

“I guess if we find a grill-

“YEAH!! BARBEQUE!” Luffy yelled, yanking the meat back from Sanji and tossing it in the car, where it slapped Usopp in the face somewhat violently. 

Sanji turned back to Zoro, giving him a sour look that was returned with equal sourness, both turning away pointedly. Slamming the door, the blonde buckled up and started the van, ignoring the blur of green in the rear mirror as he pulled out of the gas station. 

Nami navigated them to a somewhat nearby park, off of a residential street in what appeared to be the middle of nowhere. The boys went off in search of something to cook the meat on, while Nami disappeared in search of a free area map.

The place did, in fact, have communal grills set up, but lacked charcoal or lighter fluid. 

“We could just start a fire.” Zoro said, toeing a stick. Luffy got a  _ look  _ on his face that Sanji wasn't excited about. 

“We can't just start a random fire, idiot.” He pointed out, which  _ should have been obvious _ . 

“Why not?” The mosshead said, looking nearly offended that Sanji would disagree with the idea. 

“Because it's illegal?? Do you want to go to jail or some shit?”

Zoro scowled, and at his side Luffy deflated comically. Usopp glanced nervously between Zoro and Sanji. 

“Do you think youth centers are nicer than prisons? ‘Cuz I’m only 17, so maybe they’ll go easy on me.” He muttered something about a lawyer, zoning out into a conversation with himself. 

“Youth centers are so  _ boring _ .” Luffy gripped, and Sanji really  _ did not want to know _ . 

“No one is getting arrested for a hypothetical fire!” The blonde yelled, snapping his fingers in front of Usopp’s face. He turned and gave Zoro another look. “And no one is  _ starting _ any damn fires either!” 

They both glared at each other as Luffy glared at the unlit grill. Usopp cleared his throat. 

“We could, technically, use the engine to cook them.”

  
  


-o-

  
  


“What the hell are you doing?” Nami asked, surveying the scene. 

Sanji had found a decent stick to use as a spatula, which was doing the job of transitioning the unappealing, but cooked, burgers from the engine to Luffy. Usopp sat behind the wheel, occasionally revving the engine. 

“Barbeque! You want some?” Luffy asked, holding the unseasoned meat out with his bare hand. Nami wrinkled her nose.

“Isn't that bad for the engine?” She glared at Usopp, who shrunk visibly in his seat. Looking around, her eyes narrowed. “Where’s Zoro?”

Sanji glanced around, having thought Zoro was sleeping right by Luffy. 

“I think maybe he went to the bathroom?” He said, shrugging and flipping another burger. Nami sighed. 

“How long ago was that?” She asked, coming up to peer at the engine burgers. 

“I think that was over 10 minutes ago.” Usopp called out the window. Luffy started laughing.

“Great, so he’s lost.” Nami muttered.

Sanji looked around again, confused. The park wasn't even that big, how would someone  _ possibly  _ get lost in it?

Luffy snatched one of the patties from under Sanji’s stick, still laughing. 

“Zoro gets lost a lot, but he always finds his way back.” He said, taking an enormous bite. He started saying something else, but his mouth was so full it just came out as a garble. 

“Sanji-kun, do you mind looking for him? I don't want to wait around here for that long.” Nami flopped down on a nearby bench, spreading out two new maps in front of her. Sanji tossed the last burger on the engine, nodding. 

“Of course! I’ll be sure to bring the idiot back.” He said, swatting Luffy’s hand away from the still-pink meat. 

He trotted off towards the public bathrooms first, because he figured maybe the mosshead was just in there. No luck, so he headed down a path labeled  _ bike trail _ . He ended up in a thin type of woods, a tiny pond nearby that looked on the verge of drying up. 

Meandering down it, he came to the end which stopped abruptly at a road with a large sign pointing down a new path labeled  _ canal trail _ . He glanced around again, wondering if Zoro had possibly gone so far without realizing he was moving in the wrong direction. He supposed it wouldn't hurt to look, so he crossed the road and continued on. 

It was a nice trail for a small town. The Baratie was in the downtown center of a bustling city, and Sanji didn't spend much time outside of it. Sometimes he forgot that forests even existed, which was depressing until he remembered the existence of insects. 

Zoro was kinda like an insect, Sanji thought. Green and gross and  _ annoying  _ as all hell, even if, maybe, he was kinda nice looking. Maybe. Like a very small amount nice looking, and only if he cleaned up. Sanji wanted to treat the group of travelers at the Baratie once they arrived, which he was frankly worried about now what with Luffy’s appetite, but it was the least he could do for Nami and Usopp. Unless the car killed them all, in which case he was only treating Nami and the guys could fuck off. Like hell he was letting the mosshead take one nasty step into the restaurant dressed like he was though. 

Maybe he could toss the guy in an outlet mall or something. Although Sanji doubted Zoro had any money, and it wasn't like he had any money on him. He’d have to mention it to Nami, since Luffy should really wear something other than shorts and flip flops in the restaurant too. Was it rude to make the people giving you a ride change clothes for a meal? Eh, what did he care. It wasn't like Nami had to change so the others could deal. 

He stopped short on a sidewalk, squinting at two figures in the distance. It  _ looked _ like a green-haired guy, but Sanji couldn't be sure. 

“Oi, algae-brains!” He called picking up the pace as the guy turned and, yup, that was Zoro, scowl and all. 

“Where the hell-” He quickly shut his mouth, because the other guy next to Zoro was some sort of...park ranger?

“You know this man?” The (possible) ranger said, gesturing to the swordsman. 

_ Not at all _ , he was tempted to say. In fact, he was heavily considering turning on his heels and wishing Zoro a pleasant life in whatever incarceration he was about to be thrown into where he would no doubt make some lovely friends. God he wished he could just do that. 

“Yes, uh, sir.” Sanji said, trying not to grimace. He glanced at Zoro, noting the way the man was clenching his jaw so tight he looked like he was going to break it. 

“Well, we caught your friend here trying to sleep on a bench. Now this here is a residential area-

“Oh come on, it's not illegal to sleep on a bench!” Sanji burst out, then promptly bit his own tongue. Zoro gave him a sharp look, as did the officer guy. 

“As I was saying, sir. This is a residential area, and we can't have any suspicious characters hanging around.” The man droned on. 

Sanji resisted the urge to roll his eyes into the back of his damn skull. He looked at the badge on the guy’s uniform, which informed him he was some sort of neighborhood watch leader. Great, he thought. A glorified mall cop with a god complex. 

“Of course, sir.” He bit out, grabbing Zoro by the wrist. “Now if you’ll just excuse us-

“Not so fast!” The man was pulling out some sort of notepad, and Sanji nearly groaned. “I’ll need both of your permanent addresses to write a ticket-

“For sleeping on a damn bench!?” Sanji yelled, 

Again, Zoro cut Sanji a  _ look _ , and Sanji really did know he should shut the fuck up, but come  _ on _ . It had been sleeping on a bench and this guy wasn't even a real cop! 

“Sir.” Fake cop continued writing on his notepad. “If you’re not going to comply with the law, then I’m going to have to write you  _ both _ up.” 

_ Holy shit you don't even work for the fucking law _ , Sanji wanted to scream. He’d only ever had one real encounter with a cop, and that was because he hadn't  _ known _ the asshole was a cop when he’d maybe possibly kicked a stool at his friends head. It’d been a rough night, but the one thing he’d learned from it was that, as it turned out, long legs weren’t just good for kicking. 

He turned to Zoro. 

“ _ Run! _ ” He yelled, pulling on Zoro’s sleeve and not letting go, because who the  _ fuck _ knew where the guy would end up if he followed his own navigation. 

The mosshead didn't need to be told twice. Both men sprinted down the sidewalk, taking the sharp turn into the forest path as the wannabe cop started yelling after them. The stupidly tiny woods offered little coverage from view, but they had a head start and were in arguably top physique. Sanji yanked on Zoro’s arm again, forcing the guy to follow him to the left, following a different path than the one he took. 

“Where are we going!?” The green-haired man yelled, swatting at branches. 

“I don't know!” Sanji cried, not slowing down as they entered a clearing. “Oh! In there!”

_ In there _ was Sanji’s brilliant plan of stuffing Zoro inside a children’s jungle gym tube slide, which was a much harder task than anticipated. The guy was 90% muscles with no deflation option, and folded just about as well as a balloon did. Kicking at his shins, Sanji had just enough time to make sure nothing was visible of the other man before jumping up to the slide landing and pressing himself neatly into the top.

From where he was, his knees drawn to his chest and his arms stretched out to keep him still, he was looking down at Zoro’s uncomfortable form. The urge to laugh at the ridiculous image he made was strong, but both men froze as they heard the stomping of someone else. 

Peeking out over the edge of the slide, the cook watched the patrol guy wheeze past, his notebook still in hand. He went straight down the sidewalk next to the playground, continuing off on the path that looked like it led to a soccer field. Sanji returned to the slide. 

This time he did laugh, spluttering hard at Zoro’s red deer-in-headlights expression, one of his shoes looking dangerously close to sliding off. He had one sleeve stretched down where it was caught on his forearm, pulling the whole hoodie to one side and exposing his belly. The unimpressed look he shot Sanji only made it more hilarious. 

“You just shoved me in a  _ slide _ .” Zoro hissed, and Sanji burst out in full blown laughter. 

It only took a second for Zoro to join him, his hulking, raspy laugh sending Sanji into another fit.

“You almost got written up for sleeping on a  _ bench _ !” Sanji hooted, taking another quick glance to make sure the asshole hadn’t come back. 

“I can't believe you did that.” Zoro chuckled, wiping at his eyes.

“Which part? Running from a some mall cop or shoving you in the slide?”

Both men burst back into laughter, not even trying to contain their amusement. The whole slide shook with them, and Sanji adjusted his legs for better grip, resulting in him tumbling down the slide, right into Zoro. 

It was kind of like hitting a very warm brick wall for Sanji. The force of it sent Zoro rolling out from his precarious spot at the bottom, a muffled  _ oof  _ sounding as he came in contact with the mulch below. Sanji’s head dangled off the edge, his chest rubbing uncomfortably against the hard plastic as his legs flopped behind him on the upwards sweep of the slide. His chin nearly touched the back of Zoro’s ugly sweatshirt. 

“Sorry.” He muttered, rubbing at his neck. Zoro just shrugged from his position in the mulch, eventually rolling over onto his back. Sanji leaned down and ruffled his green hair, dislodging bits of the mulch. 

He only realized after he’d done it that the gesture could be read as a little overly friendly, but he didn't really care. They’d just outrun some wannabe officer and fallen out a slide. 

“You’re a weird guy.” Zoro muttered, watching Sanji from his place on the ground with a steady expression. He looked oddly peaceful, spread out in the dirt of a children's playground. 

“Yeah.” The blonde said easily. It was surprising how smooth the swordsman’s face was compared to how rough the whole of him seemed to be. All clean, sharp lines. 

“It's not a bad thing.” Zoro continued, leaning up a little on his elbows. The cook just raised a brow, content to let his head lull. 

“Yeah?” Sanji pressed, grinning again. The laughter from earlier still felt like a drug in his veins. 

“Yeah.” Zoro agreed. “Not bad.” and then he ran his own hand through Sanji’s hair, pulling back to show a single chunk of mulch. 

Sanji took the mulch, for lack of anything else to do. The act of Zoro’s hand in his hair felt strangely intimate, and he was struck by the gentleness of it. He’d known the other man for 3 hours, tops, and he felt like he’d gotten him pegged entirely wrong somehow. Well, expect for his disgusting clothes. And sword owning. And green hair of all things, god, why was Sanji attracted to him again?

Oh shit he was attracted to him.

He looked up at Zoro, slightly panicked now, because he knew himself well enough to know that he let all the shit in his heart read on his face, and he didn't feel like making a fool of himself at the moment. 

As gracefully as he could, which wasn't very, he pushed himself to a standing position and hopped off the slide.

“We should get back, Nami’s waiting for us.” He said, already walking towards the way they’d come.

Sanji glanced over his shoulder awkwardly, then stopped in his tracks as he watched in amazement as Zoro  _ turned the wrong way _ . Sighing, he trotted over, grabbed the man by the arm and pulled him in the correct direction. 

“Actual moss for brains, I swear.” He muttered, hands slightly burning where it touched the skin of Zoro’s wrist. 

  
  


-o-

  
  


Nami wasn't too pleased about having to high-tail it because of a potential law violation, but it wasn't like they had planned on staying anyways. Zoro climbed into the back not unlike some kind of bear, and began snoring in earnest within 2 entire seconds. Sanji was frankly impressed. 

“Honestly, he's more trouble than he's worth.” The red-head grumbled, eyeing Zoro’s splayed form. “I should have just laced a beer with nyquil and given it to him.”

“I thought we agreed we were going to keep the illegal actions to a minimum.” Usopp muttered, climbing into the back with Luffy. 

“So says the man with the illegal vehicle.” Nami countered. 

Sanji was beginning to realize that illegal actions were a rather common occurrence within this particular group, possibly more so with Luffy, who, maybe, had been in jail before. He’d wondered if he should give more of a shit. Instead he mentally shrugged, checking the gas levels as they curved down a desolate road labeled  _ east _ and nothing else. 

Technically they should have been at the restaurant by now, but the one thing that Nami had requested was that they take back roads, and so back roads they took. She was apparently on a quest that involved maps and ending up in the middle of nowhere, and Sanji was only happy to oblige. Zeff would survive a day without him just fine. 

“I’ve decided you should come with us.” 

Sanji blinked, glancing in the rear view mirror at Luffy, unsure if he was the one being addressed. He glanced at Nami, the woman engrossed in a long, winding road that seemed to stretch across the whole universe. The cook returned his eyes to the road.

“Have you now.” He replied, sneaking another look Luffy’s way, a little unnerved by the focus in his eyes. 

“Yup.” And then Luffy stretched back, grinning like he’d just won something. Sanji snorted. 

“And where are you even going, huh?”

The question resulted in a simple shrug, which partially infuriated Sanji. It wasn't like any of the people in the car owed him an answer, but he was curious about what they were  _ doing _ . There didn't seem to be any end goal for their travels, a concept that excited and terrified the blonde just enough to tie his tongue in knots. 

But it didn't involve him. It’d be a fun fantasy he’d consider in the next couple of weeks, daydreaming about the rag-tag group of young adults who just up and went wherever they pleased, but then he’d forget about it and return to work. Zeff would badger him until he got a new car, he’d make deliveries, he’d cook. A stable routine. 

“What’s the place you work at like?” Usopp asked, breaking the silence. 

Sanji thought about the fake marble gilding on the walls that had made the place seem like a five star parisian dream to him as a kid. He’d run around, smoothing out the ivory tablecloths and thinking that the Baratie was the fanciest place in the whole world because it used decanters for wine and all their aprons had embroidered logos. Now he noticed the way the wallpaper was patched in some spots with the wrong color, and how Zeff needed to take a break every couple of hours to get off his prosthetic leg. It was a funny mix of anxiety and nostalgia.

“Classy.” He settled on, because at the end of the day he was still so fucking proud of the place. So what if the dinner crowd had thinned out and the cafes down the street had closed. 

“Does it serve steak?” Luffy asked, sticking his head between Nami and Sanji, chin on the glove box. 

“Yes, and when we get there I’ll cook for you.” He said, moving to shove Luffy’s head back but then deciding against it. Instead his hand landed on the kid’s head, patting it a bit awkwardly before returning to the wheel. 

“On the house?” Nami asked, finally looking up from her map. 

Sanji beamed at her, nodding. 

“Of course! It’s the least I could do.”

“Free booze?” Zoro asked, head very suddenly appearing behind Usopp, as if he had been summoned back from the dead itself. 

Sanji considered. 

“First round only. Except for Nami.” He settled on. Nami gave him a winning smile.

“Ero-cook.” Zoro grumbled, falling back down and disappearing in the back. 

“Zoro’s hobbies include sword-things and drinking.” Usopp supplied, doing a bad job of stage whispering over Luffy’s head in Sanji’s direction. 

“That's not true.” Luffy countered, suddenly deciding it would be a good idea to bash all the buttons on the radio in an attempt to get it to work. “He also likes fighting.” 

Sanji chose not to comment on that. 

“Fighting falls under sword-things though.” Usopp pointed out.

Luffy’s whole face scrunched up like thinking it over was a physical challenge, before he flopped back into his seat beside the other boy and nodded in agreement. 

“Pretty sure he also likes blondes.” Nami commented, quietly enough that Sanji almost missed it. Seeing as he heard her perfectly well though, he did his best to refrain from crashing the car. 

“So anyways,” Sanji said, probably too loud. “The restaurant I work at is black tie, so the boys might need to change clothes.” 

Luffy and Usopp did a simultaneous once over of themselves, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Nami sighed, turning in her seat to address them. 

“That means no shorts, no overalls, and shirt required,  _ Zoro _ .” She translated. The resulting noise from the back indicated that the swordsman had returned to a state of unconsciousness, snoring loudly once again. 

A collective whine from Usopp and Luffy filled the car. 

“I don't want to hear it!” Nami yelled, pointing a finger at Luffy. “It’s free food, so you’re just gonna have to suck it up and put some normal pants on for an hour or two.”

Luffy and Usopp continued to flop over themselves, groaning in the back like toddlers. Sanji glanced at Nami. 

“It's really more the mosshead I’m concerned about. Does he have a change of clothes with him?” 

Nami looked pensive for a moment, before turning around and narrowing her eyes in the direction of the back. 

“Luffy, does Zoro even have a bag?” She asked. 

“Why would he need a bag?” Luffy asked, genuinely confused. Nami and Sanji shared a look. 

“Fuck it.” She muttered. “There's a town in 12 miles anyways.” 

  
  


-o-

  
  


The “town” Nami found them consisted of a grocery store, a hunting store, and two gas stations. After an initial search it was decided that a plain white undershirt from the grocery store would have to be the solution to the top part of the mosshead, and a pair of camo pants from the hunting store were the best they were going to get. Somehow it became Sanji’s job to get the man changed, a job he was now regretting as he viewed the final product. 

_ Damn _ , he thought, watching the absolutely  _ obscene _ way the shirt stretched across Zoro’s muscles. The clean white seemed to highlight every curve of his biceps and hugged his chest in a nearly scandalous way. Sanji could even make out the ridge of abs, and at that point he had to look away. Somehow the camo pants didn't even look bad on him, just made him seem like some kind of hollywood army boy. 

_ Goddamnit _ , Sanji internally cursed, biting his thumb as Zoro tucked his shirt into his pants, further highlighting the V on his torso. It had been safe territory to dismiss Zoro’s potential hotness because of his stained clothes, but now the cat was out of the bag and the guy was firmly falling into the category A+ beefcake. 

Trying to distract himself, he looked around. Maybe if he bought a crossbow he could shoot himself in the foot and shock his body into rational thinking. Luckily, Luffy’s voice broke through his train of thought and he turned, catching the boy down an aisle talking with a rather angry looking older man. 

“I  _ told  _ you, it was a  _ bear _ !” Luffy yelled, hands balled into fists. 

“And I told  _ you _ , kid, that there's no way you took down anything bigger than a badger with your bare hands.” The older man yelled back. 

“And it's time to go.” Sanji muttered, grabbing Zoro by the wrist and hauling him towards the checkout counter. “Oi, Luffy! There's beef jerky over here!” 

Luffy shot past him, sniffing out the potential meat like a bloodhound. He grabbed what looked like the entire display of snacks and brought it over to the counter. Sanji looked at the pile, then at the credit card Nami had given him. The name on it read  _ David Davidson _ . 

Fuck it, he thought, watching the worker ring up 20 jerky sticks and the tag on Zoro’s pants. 

Zoro had turned around, making a move like he was about to disappear down an aisle. Sanji grabbed him again, pulling him back. 

“Stop wondering off.” He hissed, watching Luffy drool over the food. Zoro tugged at his hold. 

“I wanna go look at the knives.” Zoro muttered, glancing at what looked like a machete display. Sanji rolled his eyes. 

“What, three swords not enough for you?” Sanji drawled, swiping the card with a plastered on smile. 

Zoro grumbled all the way back to the car, as opposed to Luffy who was bodily cramming as much food into his mouth as possible, wrappers included. Nami and Usopp were waiting by the car, and Sanji returned the questionable credit card to her waiting hand. 

“Zoro, keep that shirt clean and I’ll reduce your debt by 3%.” She said, giving him a solid once-over. 

Zoro’s response to that was to grumble and climb into the back, which Sanji watched with interest as the new pants bunched around his thighs. He tore his eyes away, reddening as he caught Nami watching him. She gave him a cat-like grin that made him feel like he was about to be eaten, and he smiled nervously before shuffling back to the drivers side. 

“So, Sanji-kun,” Nami said, sliding into the passenger seat as everyone buckled up. “Are you single?” 

Sanji did a good job of choking on his own tongue for what felt like a few minutes before gaping at her, trying to find his voice. 

“I- yeah, I mean, are  _ you _ -”

“Wow that's so funny because  _ Zoro’s  _ single too, y’know.” She said casually. 

There was a muffled coughing sound in the back that Sanji didn't dare acknowledge, his own face burning. Usopp lowered his face into his hand, shaking with what looked like suppressed laughter. Luffy remained fixated on tearing the last beef jerk wrappers to shreds with his teeth. 

Sanji started the car in silence, returning Nami’s smile with a shaky grin as his face refused to cool down. He could only pray that Zoro wasn't looking at his stupid pink cheeks from the back.

He mentally cursed himself yet again, because for all valid points indicating he should  _ not _ be into Zoro, Sanji definitely had a  _ type _ when it came to the rare moments guys caught his eye. So maybe he liked the idea of being held by someone bigger, so what, sue him. What really got the cook though was the potential gooey center to the hard shell going on with the green-haired man. He was like some badly written character from a romance novel that Sanji definitely hadn't spent his teenage years reading. 

He peeked at the back in the mirror one last time, biting his tongue and flicking his eyes away as he met hazel eyes in the reflection. Double shit, Zoro would definitely notice the blush now. 

“Don't break the steering wheel, Sanji-kun.” Nami said lightly, still grinning. 

Sanji swallowed, face melting into a further red mush as he relaxed his crushing grip. Usopp leaned forward, his nose sticking out in the blonde’s peripheral vision. 

“Seriously, that thing is held together by more tape than metal, so.” 

“Fantastic.” Sanji muttered. 

-o-

Pulling up next to the restaurant was oddly nerve wracking. For one, he hadn’t bothered to call Zeff to explain his situation, and he wasn't looking forward to it. For another, it felt weirdly intimate to introduce the group of travelers to his adoptive father. Zeff had a way of narrowing his eyes and making grunting noises that always set Sanji on edge because he  _ knew _ the old shit was silently judging, and he quite honestly just didn't think he could handle that at the moment. 

At 8pm on a weekday the Baratie was quiet enough that their entrance caused a few head turns. It definitely caused a raised brow from the waiter who greeted them, taking in Sanji’s slightly rumpled appearance and the group of underdressed young people behind him. 

“Table for five, near the kitchens.” Sanji directed, already leading the group to the reserved table in the more back area. Usopp let out a low whistle. 

“Dang, classy was right.” He muttered, eyeing the high ceilings. 

“And you’re wearing overalls.” Nami said, primly taking a seat and flicking her napkin out like she owned the place. Sanji kind of loved her for it. 

“Someone will come over to take your order, I’ll be in the ba-”

The kitchen doors burst open, a hand gripping the back of Sanji’s shirt and yanking him through the doors in a motion that was so fluid he barely registered his ass hitting the tiled floor. He blinked down at the pair of mismatched shoes Zeff always wore.

“Nice to know you’re not dead, eggplant.” 

Sanji winced. So maybe he should have called the old man, but he hadn't wanted Zeff to get the idea in his head that he should get behind a wheel and go pick him up. 

“It was just some car trouble. Had to hitch a ride.” The cook lifted himself up, still refusing to meet the older chef’s eyes. 

A loud crashing noise made them both turn to look towards the dining room. Zeff pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“I’ll get the details later. Go deal with that in the meantime.” He ground out, already turning back to his station as Sanji grimaced. 

Entering the dining room again, he watched with muted horror as Luffy and Usopp placed a plate on top of some glasses in what looked like a tower. There was a large wet patch on the table cloth and on the floor.

He considered kicking them both in the head, but then Luffy caught him watching and turned an absolutely blinding smile his way. He looked so genuinely happy that Sanji was back that it floored the cook, and the only thing he was capable of correctly doing was falling into a chair beside him. 

“You gotta be more careful.” Sanji said, the warning falling weakly from his own mouth. Usopp had the tact to at least start putting the glasses and plate back down, but Luffy just kept grinning at him. 

“Do you have stuff you gotta pack?” Luffy asked, and Sanji stared. 

“Pack?” He parotted, confused. 

“Y’know.” Luffy said, grabbing the water pitcher and drinking  _ straight from it _ . “When you come with us.”

The waiter chose that moment to bring everyone's drinks, placing a coke in front of Luffy that took up most of the kids attention. Sanji watched as Zoro downed his entire drink in one gulp, something that looked brown and whiskey-like. Nami sipped an orange cocktail. 

“Luffy, I can't come with you.” Sanji said, because that should have been obvious. 

The table fell into silence. 

The blonde looked around, feeling awkward. It couldn't have been surprising, that he’d decline. And hadn't Luffy been mostly joking? Sanji wasn't going to just jump in some illegal van and go off into the sunset with them, they had to know that. 

“Why not?” Luffy asked, sounding serious for the first time since Sanji had met him. 

Because he didn't know how to stand on his own, for one. Because he didn't really know them and they didn't really know him. Because they would get tired of him once they realized he had baggage and then he’d be all alone, far away, and he thought something like that might actually kill him. 

“I have my job here.” He said instead. 

“So?” Luffy said, hand wrapped tight around his fork. “You can get a job anywhere. And we’re going anywhere!”

Sanji just shook his head, biting the inside of his cheek. Didn't they understand? It was the anywhere that was terrifying. It meant  _ leaving _ . 

“Don't you wanna see what's out there?” Usopp asked, much more gently than Luffy. 

Looking at Usopp, Sanji wondered if maybe he understood the leaving part a little better. He looked at Nami and Zoro, both sitting quietly and watching him back. What did they think about all this? Did they even  _ want _ him? 

Sanji stood up quickly.

“I’ll make sure they’re starting on food for you all.” He murmured, slipping back into the kitchens before anyone could stop him. 

He did put their order in, but he didn't stay to cook it. Instead, he slipped out the staff entrance, Zeff’s eyes burning a hole in his back as he did. There was a stairway there that led him up to his and Zeff’s combined living quarters, a dingy little apartment that had been their home for as long as Sanji had known the old man. 

It was better this way. Their food would arrive, they’d eat, and then they’d leave and that would be fine. It wasn't like they would actually miss him either way. So what if it hurt a little to imagine that shitty car driving off. That was how resturant life was- people came, and then they left. 

His own stomach growling reminded him that he hadn't eaten in hours, and that he should make his own dinner. Pulling ingredients out of the fridge, he turned on the stove to fry some leftover rice. 

It couldn't have taken him that long to cook it, but by the time he was plating it he became keenly aware that someone else was in the room. He only just managed to keep himself from flinching hard enough to throw rice everywhere when Zoro stepped into the kitchen. 

“What the  _ fuck _ .” Sanji gasped, clutching his chest as he tried to calm down. Zoro was looking around casually, like he hadn't just given the cook a heart attack. “What are you doing up here!?”

Still looking around, Zoro just shrugged. 

“Was looking for the bathroom. Your dad pointed me this way.” 

Sanji narrowed his eyes. 

“Whatever. Bathrooms the left door over there.” He muttered, checking to make sure the burner was off. 

Zoro disappeared, leaving Sanji to bite his nails. He’d have to say goodbye to Zoro now, explain that he wasn't coming and that everyone else should go. But did they even have a place to sleep? He could offer them the couch, and at the very least the carpet. Nami could have his bed for the night and then- they’d go in the morning. And that would be fine. It would be fine. 

But what if, maybe-

_ No _ , he thought. He wasn't someone who could just  _ go _ like that. People left, but he stayed. That was the way it always was. 

“What's the real reason why you won't come with us?”

Sanji nearly jumped out of his skin, smashing his elbow on the counter as he whirled around to face Zoro. He was standing with his arms crossed, watching the blonde intently. Sanji cursed, leaving his food to grow cold as he retreated to his bedroom with no plan other than to get  _ away _ . 

It was a bad plan. Zoro followed him and Sanji was left feeling exposed in his messy room, his bed unmade and a few socks lying on the floor. There was a seashell pillow that looked like it was meant for a child, and he felt embarrassed over it of all things. 

“I can't just  _ leave _ .” Sanji insisted, looking at the hangers on his wall, displaying a neat row of white dress shirts. 

“Yeah, you can.” Zoro said. Sanji could feel the guy’s eyes on the side of his head. 

“No, actually, I  _ can't _ . I have a job, and- the old man-

“Do you want to come with us?” Zoro interrupted, bulldozing the rest of Sanji’s sentence away. 

_ Want.  _ Was Sanji even allowed to want things that were that- irresponsible? People didn't just get in cars and drive away, that wasn't how the world worked. And with no  _ plan _ , no destination or budget or  _ legal vehicle _ even. 

“‘Cuz we want you to come.” Zoro said, quieter this time, making Sanji feel a little weak in the knees. 

He took a steadying breath and finally stopped staring at the dress shirts, gaze fixing on Zoro. 

“Why?” 

“We like you.” Zoro looked slightly amused, head tilted to the side as he regarded Sanji. “Isn't that obvious?” 

Childishy, Sanji wanted to ask  _ but do you really _ and follow it up with a  _ but do  _ you  _ like me _ , if nothing else then to at least validate the ache in his stomach that told him he couldn't  _ possibly  _ be seen as pleasant company so easily.

“You don't even know me really.” He said weakly, fighting the urge to turn away again, stare at his shirts like they would give him the answer to all things. 

“Sure. But I want to.” And then he placed a hand on the side of Sanji’s face, as if to hold him steady, like he knew this was unbalancing him. 

Sanji leaned into the touch, surprised once again by how gentle Zoro was acting. And he wasn't used to that at all, being treated as something worth tenderness. When was the last time someone had touched him so softly? Why didn't anyone warn him that it would be devastating? 

“Yeah?” Sanji asked, breathless. 

“Yeah.” Zoro replied, again so softly, his thumb brushing the top of Sanji’s cheekbone with a reverence that was almost too much. 

_ You should kiss me now _ , Sanji thought, only half wishing for it really. He felt too frayed right now, like he’d burn to a crisp of Zoro did anything else tender. So he broke away a little, pretending not to see the slight disappointment in the other man’s face. 

“I gotta talk to the old man.” He said, still keeping his voice quiet. “But tell Luffy I’m packing, ok?”

He still wasn't sure if he’d actually do it. There was still too much to consider, so much that could go wrong, but- the way Zoro smiled at him was like watching honey being poured. So sweet Sanji thought he could taste it in the room, and god, it tasted good. 

  
  


-o-

  
  


When he closed the door to the apartment, Zeff was waiting outside in the hall. 

“I’ve been trying to get you out of here for years, and some kid convinces you to leave in a matter of hours.” The old man huffed, eying the bag over Sanji’s shoulder. 

Sanji opened his mouth, but then closed it again. He had absolutely no idea what to say.

“‘Course if I had really wanted you gone I guess you would've already been gone, huh?” Zeff said, quieter this time. 

Sanji looked at him, following a few lines of wrinkles that he had never noticed before. He had deep crows feet, left from the combined action of every smile he’d ever given, albeit rarely. Something about them made the younger man think about that fake marble gilding downstairs, but not in any way that was bad. 

“What’s it like out there?” He asked, leaning back on the closed door, thinking about miles on a map. 

“Big.” Zeff supplied, earning a flat look from Sanji. He gave a lopsided grin, leaning back on the opposite wall, looking right at the other man. 

“But you won't know until you see it.”

  
  


-o-

  
  


Sanji stood in the doorframe, his knuckles white as they gripped the strap to his backpack. Nami and Usopp were getting into it about the wear of the tires, fussing over this and that while they all pretended they weren’t waiting for Sanji to get his shit together. 

“You’re still as dramatic as you were when puberty hit.” Zeff said, sidling up beside him.

Sanji scowled, pretending to fuss with the side pouch to his bag. 

“I might be gone for a while.” He muttered, checking that he’d packed toothpaste for the fifth time. 

“And I have a phone. You don't have to wait until you get arrested to ring me up, eggplant.” 

Sanji scoffed, a small laugh slipping out against his will. He glanced up, making eye contact with Zoro from the backseat, who raised his brow a tiny bit in question. 

“Guess I’m going then.” He said, pushing himself forward.

He stumbled as Zeff hauled him in for a hug, one hand coming up to ruffle his hair before Sanji could escape. He gave an indigent noise, face flushing at the embarrassing image they must make. 

“Don't catch a cold.” Zeff muttered, all but shoving Sanji in the direction of the car, a wry smile cracking the wrinkles in his face. 

Mortified, and afraid he might  _ cry _ , Sanji skittered to the door of the van, tossing his bag in the back and scooting into the seat next to Zoro. He turned to look at Zeff from the window, only to get Luffy bodily hauling himself into the seat beside him, taking up far more space than someone his size had any right to. His shoulder burned where it pressed up against Zoro’s. 

The car started with a halting noise, Nami and Usopp still arguing over something in the front as the vehicle slowly turned out onto the road, and Sanji frantically turned to look out the back. Zeff’s slightly hunched body was highlighted by the large restaurant windows, his hand held up in a final wave that didn't lower. Sanji raised his hand a little, feeling silly as he gave his own, possibly unseen, returning wave. And then the car turned, and Zeff was gone, eaten up by city lights and passing buildings and growing distance that Sanji couldn't get back anymore. 

He turned around, startled when he noticed Luffy watching him silently. The younger boy didn't say anything, just looked at the blonde a little longer before seeming to settle on something, smiling wide and unguarded. The next thing Sanji knew, his shoulder was being used as a pillow. 

“Yeah, he’ll do that.” Zoro said, his voice loud in the cook’s ear.

Luffy’s chest moved up and down in a steady, smooth rhythm that made Sanji feel safe. One of the boy’s hands was loosely fisted in the blonde’s sleeve, and it made him feel impossibly wanted somehow. 

“You ok?” Zoro asked, more softly this time, like he really did care about the answer. 

Sanji turned to him, cataloging a few details. The way his earring glinted in the low light. The line connecting his jaw to his cheek. There was a still-healing scratch on his temple, and he didn't even think before he leaned in to kiss it. And then he thought, he’d come this far already. So he pulled back, kissed him on the lips too. 

That same warm hand as before moved up and held him there, keeping him steady. 

“You owe me $20.” Nami said, poking Usopp in the ribs. 

Sanji grinned into the kiss, feeling a laugh bubble up in him as they separated, Zoro’s hand remaining on his cheek. He flicked his gaze to the mirror, catching the wink Nami threw his way as Usopp grumbled and handed over the cash. When he looked back at Zoro, there was a silly looking grin on his face that made him look brand new. 

“Be useful and grab us a blanket, mossy.” He murmured, not wanting to wake Luffy. Maybe in the morning he’d be embarrassed about kissing someone he barely knew while someone else he barely knew drooled on his shoulder, but for now it was just warm. 

Zoro rolled his eyes but did as he was asked, throwing what looked like a handmade quilt over the three of them. Luffy snored a little, and Sanji leaned back in his seat, watching a few street signs blur past in the night. He watched the way the buildings thinned out until the road became a highway, and the only thing in the window was his slight reflection, grinning in the dark. 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> the moral of this story is that subarus will last forever but they WILL die tragically in the end, alas  
> hit me up on twitter if you wanna make fun of Sanji @8balldoodles


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